Our three-year-old is going in for surgery tomorrow. Nothing major. He has a lazy eye, and the doctor needs to adjust the muscle tension so his eyes can move together again. It's only an hour procedure, and he will be able to go home the same day. But he will be under general anesthesia, and that means all kinds of things could go wrong. Not to mention the fact that when it's eye surgery, there's always the possibility of blindness.
My husband is trying to ignore the fact that he is freaking out. He's a worrier by nature, so this scenario has all kinds of horrible outcomes just running wild in his head. I am relatively calm, so far, but that has me worrying that I am jinxing him somehow by being so confident that he's going to be fine.
We all know that we are surrounded by dangers every day. But we still go about our lives, pretending that our daily survival is a sure thing. Everyone is worried that something bad could happen to our little boy tomorrow. We are skipping over the fact that we face uncertainty every day. Somehow it seems like there is more to be worried about when a medical procedure is involved. There are inherent risks you don't normally face, that's true. But you are also surrounded by medical professionals, an advantage you don't normally have. Doesn't that at least even out the risks? Logic would suggest that it does. But we still worry. I know I will be a nervous wreck tomorrow, until I see my child open his eyes and I know that he is okay. Until that moment, logic might as well take a flying leap out the window.
I am so glad you are here! Welcome to my blog. This is your space, too. My name is Amy, and I am no stranger to the ups and downs of life. Join me as we search for beauty, authenticity, tell our truth, and hold space for each other in the messiness of life.