Today was a crazy day. My husband is out of town for the weekend, so I am on my own with the kids. I woke up this morning with my three-year-old's feet by my elbow, and my 11-year-old on the other side of him. I took them all outside to play, and Cameron fell down in the driveway and his face kind of bounced off the concrete. Anya is grounded this weekend, and she spent a good part of the day trying to find loopholes to make her punishment more fun. Logan took a nosedive into crazytown and was a wiggly, running, head-butting, hitting handful all day. I didn't get even half my to-do list tackled, and I still have dirty dishes to take care of.
But you know what? The weather was beautiful, and my kids and I had a great time running around together. You know, until the face-meeting-concrete incident. When that particular incident did happen, Anya ran and got a wet washcloth, and sat by him while I cleaned him up. She also carefully disinfected his scrape and put a band-aid on it for him. And yes, my kids slept in my bed with me last night. It was a very content feeling to wake up with them snuggled up next to me. It's perfectly fine with me if I wake up the same way tomorrow morning. The dishes will not get finished tonight, but I will spend time with my daughter. The day is coming when she won't want me to finish up my work quickly so I can have girls night with her. I'm going to go enjoy it. The dishes can wait. And Logan stopped his uncontrolled running around at each meal time so he could carefully and slowly carry everybody's plate out to them, because he has a servant's heart and he loves to help.
There have been times when a crazy day would completely throw me off. When I wouldn't notice how Logan settles down and focuses when he has a kitchen job to do. When I was so focused on the need-to-do's that I wouldn't have treasured the feeling of having my babies close and healthy and safe. When I would have skipped over how lovely the sun felt on my back, or how chasing and laughing with my kids makes me feel more alive. I still have times like that, actually. But I'm trying. I'm trying to focus on the positive, look for the moments of wonder, and stay mindful of what is happening in front of me in that instant. Let me tell you, it is HARD. Thankfully, I can try again tomorrow. And the next day. Seeing the beautiful in the middle of the mess is something I have to keep working on, all the time. But this is my life, and it's worth it.
I am so glad you are here! Welcome to my blog. This is your space, too. My name is Amy, and I am no stranger to the ups and downs of life. Join me as we search for beauty, authenticity, tell our truth, and hold space for each other in the messiness of life.